You’ve been served

I’m officially listing my relationship status with Costco as ” its complicated”.

I’ve never been a Costco person, as I find the parking lot unbearable. It’s too busy, and in order to make it out alive, you really need eyes in the back of your head. Prior to being a family of 4, I didn’t really need the mass quantities, so I just never bothered.

What I do love about Costco is their birthday cake. It’s so freaking good, and it’s under 20 dollars for a giant sheet cake. I decided I was going to get one for my daughter’s birthday, only I forgot to ask my husband to give me the membership card. I saw my in-laws earlier that day, and since my husband shares a membership with his mother, she just gave me her card.

So off I went.

I braved that parking lot. I showed the guy in front my card so I could shop. I ordered my cake. And then I wondered around for a bit. I had my oldest daughter with me, so we checked out what they had. She was loving the sampling (so was I, who would I be kidding!), and we found a few items that made sense to buy in bulk (chocolate peppermint bark 😂). We made our way to the checkout where I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen basically since college. It was great to see her, but with what was about to transpire, it was probably less great to see me.

I went to check out. I gave the guy the Costco card and my Id. Now, hopefully, it doesn’t take a genius to know that my picture doesn’t match my MIL. However, our last names match. The guy at the checkout told me he couldn’t process my order and sent me to customer service.

They asked me if I was on the membership. I told them my husband is, and that I couldn’t take his card because he had it with him, and he was at work.

” So, you aren’t on the membership then.”

“No, but you see this credit card I am paying with? The man who pays the bill attached to this credit card is. I will happily call him, list all the items I am buying, and await his okay for you.”

” Well you see it’s not that easy. We believe you, but, hmmm, you know you can’t drive on your husband’s drivers license and expect the cops to honor that. It’s the same thing with a Costco membership.”

And that’s where I possibly blacked out.

Ok, maybe not, but my blood started to boil.

This is where the service people should say, ” We only allow two members per card. In order for you to shop here, you need to get your own membership, or buy one with someone else. However, I’ll honor your shopping this time as I can tell this is an innocent mistake. When we are done with this transaction, I will show you to the membership desk where you can get your own.”

But since they didn’t say that, they got to watch me begin to melt down.

” So, there is nothing you can do? Nothing ? So I’ve wasted all this time here shopping, and I have to put it all back ? Awesome.”

At that point I began to unload my cart right there. The lady then tells me she’d allow me to shop as long as I pay cash.

But I didn’t have cash. And that offer almost made it worse. I’m pulling out the groceries fast. My friend is standing nearby offering to buy them for me and that I could pay her back. It was a super sweet offer, but one I just couldn’t take up.

I then attempt to get my almost 4 year old out of the cart. As I’m struggling to get her out, the lady tells me I can use the cart to wheel her back to the car. I snarked at her while accidentally bumping my daughter’s leg against the handle bar. She starts to cry.

I’m so bewildered at this point, and now I’ve hurt my daughter. So I’m on the floor of Costco, hugging my crying daughter, feeling like a terrible mom, and I’m frustrated beyond belief. After a good awkward 4 minutes of this, the customer service lady honors my purchase.

Um what?

So she was certain there was nothing she could do to allow me to shop until My child started to cry ? She couldn’t take care of me before, but now we are making a horrible scene ( this was not staged, I assure you), now it is okay? I found this to be appalling and pathetic.

I’ll let you in on a secret. Managers can always do something to fix anything if they want to. I was one for several companies. I had that power to take care of people in every company I worked for. So the “There is nothing we can do” line is bs. And, knowing this, it infuriates me.

I made my purchases, got the hell out of there, and vowed never to go back.

But I bought a birthday cake there. Dammit.

My husband took me to go pick up the cake a few weeks later. We got a few extra things there, and I hated to admit that I enjoyed the shopping piece. They offer great deals, the sampling is fun, and the cashiers are quick. So, I bit the bullet, and we got our own membership.

It’s been over a month since that fiasco. Since then, I have to say I’ve enjoyed my time there. But, the company needs to work with their management. How they handled me was so wrong and disgusting. If a wife and husband can’t share a membership where we share the same credit card paying for said membership, then maybe they need to look at how they sell their plans. I can’t be the only person who has had this experience.

I got my way because of a perceived temper tantrum. What a great lesson that was 😬. I hope my daughter wasn’t paying too much attention !

At about 7:15 the morning, my eldest child crawled into my bed. My baby ( who sleeps in the crib in my room) was just waking up. Sometime between 7:15 and 7:30 they both were in full conversation with me, and I was still attempting to find the strength to get up. I was responding to them, but I just wasn’t conscious of what I was saying.

At some point my older child said, ” Mommy, who are you saying thank you to?”

I honestly didn’t even realize I said thank you, so I just stared at her with no answer.

She responded to my blank stare with, “Mommy, who do you say thank you to?”

This I had an answer for. “I say thank you to whoever does or says something nice to me.”

I desperately want to raise polite, grateful children. So far so good on the polite; the grateful we have a ways to go.

Understanding “thank you” in life and in service is so important. It validates point of view. As a consumer, when I thank the person treating me to their service, it validates their hard work and time. As a customer service person, to thank a consumer validates their time and choice to spend their hard earned money on you.

People who truly mean “thank you” are in fact, reaching out to understand you. They appreciate you. When I drop something on the floor, and my husband picks it up for me, I say thank you in appreciation of his efforts to go out of his way to do something nice for me. It may be something little, but it’s an effort none the less. When a server brings me a glass of water, or helps clean up what my children spill (we had a hat trick on spills on New Year’s Eve if that wasn’t embarrassing!), they have just worked hard to help me. To not say thank you is to not acknowledge hard work or kindness.

For the many years I have spent with my husband, he consistently looks for the thank you when we dine out. He is always pleased when the server or manager thanks him for choosing their establishment. It makes him feel valued as a customer, and that his hard earned money was truly appreciated. I imagine millions of people feel just like he does. People want to be appreciated. The guests and the servers alike.

Whether you are serving, and you see people pulling out their credit cards to support your business, or a customer witnessing how hard someone is working to make you happy, please remember to say thank you.

Thank you for your time!

Last night my husband and I had a rare night out together as it was our friend’s 40th birthday. My inlaws came over to watch the kids, and at 6 o’clock, we were on our way to an adult night out in Libertyville.

We met some friends prior and had dinner at Mickey Finns. Dinner was fun, the food was good, and the service was fine.

The party was at a place called Main Street Social. It was literally like any bar one would go to in the city, where you are pressed up against random strangers, and there really isn’t anywhere to put your coats. At 21, I would go to a bar like this in the dead of winter coatless, but in my late 30s, not so much.

Once we were situated, it was really great to have a night pretending I was young again… ordering cocktails, talking to friends, and of course, the people watching.

One of the more interesting people there was the waitress. She came over to take our orders and just struck me as off. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it. After taking our orders, she came back moments later and said, ” Who ordered the blueberry vodka?”

My friend answered, “‘Me”

Waitress responds, ” Well, we don’t have any”

Silence. More silence.

Friend: ” Okay, so what do you have?

Waitress, “Cranberry ?”

Friend, “That’ll be fine.”

The general feel I got from that conversation was, ” Man, she does not want to be here tonight.”

Initially it’s easy to pick apart someone serving who shows attitude, and clearly would rather be somewhere else. So before I jumped the gun, I began to think about times where I truly would have rather been elsewhere.

These times have ranged from missing out on a concert to my dad suffering from a brain tumor ( thank goodness it was non cancerous… he’s completely fine). Did I act any differently? Was I rude to the customers?

I actually may have been when I missed out on a concert. I was 27 and completely in the wrong. I’m not sure if I was just rude to my boss, or if I gave the whole place the impression of not wanting to work. If so, I’ll apologize for it right here and now. I was fortunate to be blessed with a job, and no one deserved my bratty attitude. I am sorry.

I know for a fact that during more recent troubling times in where I was working I did not take it out on my place of business. In fact, it made for a good distraction. There is nothing like high traffic business to keep your mind off of what’s bothering you.

This waitress had a decent amount of people to serve. She was going to make money that night. She may have had somewhere better to be or maybe not. But regardless, she wasn’t wasting her time on a slow night.

Later in the evening, I asked her for a glass of water. She brought it, but never said a word to me during the entire transaction. She nodded her head so I knew she heard me. She was super prompt bringing me the water. However; speaking to me was above her pay grade.

A different friend had noticed and said, ” If you are nice, you make money.”

What a thing to say. It’s so simple, yet so true.

She was spending her Friday night with us whether she liked it or not. If she gave us a chance, she would have seen that this crowd was fun, respectful, and are likely good tippers. If she laughed and smiled with us, we would have showed her a good time.

Oh well. We still had a great time in spite of her. Hopefully whatever was causing the attitude is resolved, and her next customers see a more pleasant side.

On our way home from a Christmas Eve celebration, my husband pointed out that the target we were driving by was still open.

It must have been around 9:15 pm. 9:15 on Christmas Eve? Who is still shopping at this time? And worse, who is stuck there managing the store and cashiering?

And, you know, it’s not just target. Lots of people are at work. The police still work. Those who work in hotels are doing their jobs like every other day. The ER doctors are at the hospital, caring for whoever had a mishap slicing ham.

So, clearly I think it’s insane for target to still be open at this hour. Those employees should not have to give up their Christmas Eve. Retail should be closed by 3, and everyone can celebrate with their loved ones.

For those who are working in professions that just can’t take off for the holiday, ( police, firemen, hotels, etc…) thank you for giving up your holiday so that others can celebrate theirs. My sister worked at a hotel for many years, and when she couldn’t come to thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, it was a real bummer.

If you are staying at a hotel this Christmas, eating at a restaurant, or are in need of some hospital care ( a few years ago I made a trip to the ER … not for any kitchen mishaps!), please keep in mind that the people taking care of you are not with their families. Treat them kindly, tip a little more generously, and thank them for working.

If we don’t take care of those taking care of us, there will be less people willing to work the holidays.

Merry Christmas!

On Sundays my eldest daughter takes swim lessons. We’ve been going to the same place all semester; however we are on our third teacher. I am amazed that she hasn’t freaked out over this, as the relationship between a swim teacher and student must be one of trust.

In fairness, the reason for so many teachers is circumstantial, as the first one injured himself on his personal time. The second one was a sub, and the third one is her current one.

Her first teacher was really great. He was kind, caring, and gave me excellent feedback on each of her lessons. My daughter isn’t afraid of the water, but she has a fear of falling. He understood this, and worked with her. She had a hard time letting go and trusting that should would be safe, but was starting to make strides.

Then the sub came in.

My daughter was not one to choose to put her whole head under water yet. She was starting to slowly put her face in, but this one basically dunked her under without consent. I didn’t know if I thought that was a good idea. At first, I was shocked. Then I thought , well maybe this will toughen her up, and she’ll realize it wasn’t so bad.

The whole time, the sub was throwing the kids around in a “sink or swim” type of lesson. I stood by the side waiting to see if this was a good method for my girl.

It wasn’t…. which I kind of thought it wouldn’t be.

She lost trust that she would be safe. I know the sub was truly trying to teach the way she knew how, but she never asked the parents if a tough love lesson would be effective.

Trust is such an important part of service. No one wants to gamble with their time and money. When I pay for swim lessons, I want to trust that the lessons will further my child’s swim education, and ultimately, keep her safe in the water.

When I pay for anything, I want to trust that I get what I paid for. I want to trust that if things go wrong ( human error happens), that we still get taken care of.

And we did.

The third instructor is actually the head of the swim department, and she’s amazing. The hiccup of the class she took where she ended up scared and afraid to go back, was quickly wiped away by the best of the best. She understands my daughter’s fear of falling, and has changed her dialogue from,” I’m falling” to “I’m floating”. She’s starting to trust at a faster rate, and yesterday I watched her do more on her own then I could have imagined in this short of time.

I TRUST the JCC to teach my daughter to swim.

Now, that is good service.

Tonight my husband and I had some errands to run in highland park, so afterwards we went out to get a bite to eat.

Our “what do you want to eat” ” I don’t know or care” typical conversation was much shorter this time, as I excitedly had an answer.

“La Casa de Issac and Moishe”

This would be his first time there, and it had been two years or so since I had gone. I was so excited for hubby to try it, but his review was ” food was good, service not so much.”

And he was right.

The service was certainly not bad, but it wasn’t good either. The waiter was nice, and smiled, but it was definitely that “here’s your food, I’m going to pretend to care,” smile. My neck is also hurting from having to look around the restaurant to have to find him.

Is this acceptable? Because you serve really great food, you get a pass on service?

Posing this question makes me think of the Seinfeld episode, “The Soup Nazi”, where the friends are willing to take a verbal beat down from the head of the soup restaurant because the soup is sooo good. But, why? Is this the only place with good soup? Is soup that worth it?

I’ve seen on friend’s Facebook pages where they poll their friends over a rotten experience they had at a “good” restaurant. Basically, they want reassurance that they don’t deserve to be treated poorly. These same people would never question it if the food was just as lousy.

Restaurants with great food need to protect their asset. If you got the goods, flaunt it, right? The servers should be so excited about their menu, and they should be talking to their guests about it! They should check in to make sure their patrons are loving their meals. People will only take and accept mediocre to poor service for so long before they realize there are other places that will do better.

Our usual go to Mexican restaurant, La Taquiza, is amazing. It isn’t fancy, but it has authentic fresh food, with lovely people serving it. When I go to pick up food, I receive a warm welcome, they always put my order together well, and they genuinely care for their customers and food.

La Casa de Issac and Moishe has great food, but I wouldn’t be surprised if another 2 years pass before I go back.

Four years ago at this time, I was literally scaling the walls of my house while my husband hid in our bedroom pretending to go to sleep.

That was short lived. Luckily he threw me in the car, drove to the hospital where they gave me the most fabulous epidural ever. From then on it was smooth sailing to the arrival of our sweet baby girl.

My daughter’s birthday is tomorrow, but we had her party on this past Saturday.

So after plenty of delicious cake, singing, and activities, how was the party? And how does one decide what makes a great party ?

From a service perspective, a great party is where the guests feel included and taken care of. I’ve thrown some hum dingers in the past, but we were completely impressed with the party leaders.

We had the party at Northbrook Academy of Gymnastics, and the party leaders clearly spoke “4 year old”. They had all the kids participating, listening, and genuinely enjoying themselves. Because all the kids were having a blast, the parents were all relaxed and enjoying themselves too. For me, as a parent, the biggest joy is watching my kids smile, laugh, and play without a care in the world. The good party leaders create an environment for that to occur.

I’ve been to more than my fair share of kid parties now ( I think I’m officially an expert!), and I have seen parties thrown in more of an assembly line fashion. The place will rent you their space for 1.5 hours, take a stupid amount of money from you, and give you a few teenagers to “watch over” the party. They have their arms folded, clearly would rather be somewhere else, and don’t bother to make the day special for anyone, let alone the birthday kid. They have thrown so many parties, that they are all the same. Or at least they all feel the same.

When looking for a place to throw a kid’s party, I recommend asking the place about the people who are in charge of leading the kids. Who will you get? Maybe even ask to meet them before the party. What will they do to make the birthday child and the guests feel special? How do they handle a child who might be uncomfortable participating? Can they cater their activities to the crowd? If they can’t answer you, that should be telling.

These parties cost a fortune and last an hour and half. You and your family deserve to have great service, and to feel that the place of your choice has taken the time to really help you celebrate your child….. and you! After all, those kids don’t just birth themselves 😂.

Today I went to my daughter’s holiday party at school. After watching the classroom of adorable kids sing festive songs, they all sat down to eat. The teachers put together a beautiful spread and clearly took their time to make this a special occasion. They went around to each of the kids offering different food items.

They get to my daughter.

“Would you like some strawberries?”

“No!”

Grrrrrrr. I wasn’t upset that she wanted the cookies over the strawberries, but her manners were just so off. Granted, she’s four, and as soon as I asked her how do we say no, she meekly replied, “no thank you”.

While four year olds are certainly not expected to be polite, adults are. But are we? Do we say please and thank you enough to someone helping us? Or do we just expect that the person behind the counter is being paid to take care of us, so pleasantries are not necessary?

How often do you say please and thank you to people helping you?

I would say I do when I think about it, but maybe it’s not as often as it should be. I do know that when I think about it, and use polite words, I get more attentive service. It’s as simple as ” treat people as you would like to be treated”.

Yesterday when I went for lunch on my own, I was in such a good mood, that I had it on my mind to smile and say please to the server at Roti. Usually when I’m there, I ask them for an extra scoop of tomato cucumber salad as I don’t get enough sides to fill the plate . I didn’t ask this time, and when I was ordering , he went back and filled my plate up with extra. Was it because I was polite or was it because he was doing his job well? I don’t know. But I’m sure it did not hurt.

My daughter received a great book two years ago for the holidays. The title is Give Please A Chance. I think the title says it all.

So won’t you give Please a Chance? Please?

This evening my dad came over to spend time with the kids. We decided to order in some dinner as everyone was starting to get hungry. I took everyone’s order and called in.

“Hi, I’d like to place an order for carryout”

“Okay, what would you like”

“Can I please get a burger medium well”

“With fries?”

“Sure”

“Anything else?”

“Yes, I would like a shrimp dish with rice”

“Anything else?”

“Yes, I would also like a steak medium well with a baked potato. Light on the onions please”

“Anything else?”

Anything else. Hmmmmmm. I point this out because this happens all the time. The person taking the order doesn’t know what to say, so they say “anything else”.

To me, that says, “Are you done ordering yet?” This is silly because I would think the restaurant would want me to order as much as possible. We are taught as servers to upsell as best as you can. What they should be saying is, “what else can I get you?”

When I hear “anything else” I feel like I’m bothering them. They have better things to do then to take my carry out order. This also leads me to believe there is a higher chance of a mistake in the order. “Anything else?” Yes, my confidence is now shot.

By simply saying, “what else can I get for you?” makes me feel like you are invested in my order. You want me to order. You want me to order a lot so your restaurant makes money. My order is important enough that you’ll check it to make sure it’s right.

The lady did read the order back to me so that did make me have hope the order would be correct. And it was….. well, mostly. My dad still got a heaping amount of onions on his steak 😬.

Today is Thursday, which means it’s the day my inlaws come over to watch the kids. I get a few hours in the afternoon to run errands, maybe get a massage to recharge, and eat lunch by myself. I have two adorable little girls, ages 17 months and almost 4. I love them more then life itself, but singing “All around the Mulberry Bush” 17 times a day does not stretch my brain in the least.

Today during my few hours of quiet, I was thinking about my former life as a restaurant manager. I’ve been in the business since I was 17, and I fell in love with it right away. Working with the public was simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying. You never know who you would meet, how they would treat you, and where a simple conversation could potentially lead. In my years of serving the public, I have met some of my dearest friends, and have also filed restraining orders. It’s truly a rollercoaster of a career path.

I miss it. I miss thinking about interactions. I loved to analyze how I handled some of the tough situations I would get thrown into. I can’t go back because the industry is just too time consuming, and my babies need me right now. I do currently work part time for my dad selling whole sale beef jerky to mainly mom and pop stores, which I love, ( and there are plenty of stories to share )but the customer service guru in me wants a little more. So here I am.

This blog is called “the other side of the counter” because I no longer get to be the server. I’m now the customer. It’s way more fun being the customer, but I miss the control. People I’ve spoken to are often confused on what the expectations should be when interacting with a customer service person. Some have the “customer is always right ” mindset, and some will take whatever beat down is handed to them. I’m here to share my day to day experiences with customer service people and analyze the good and the bad of the interaction. I want you to get a good idea of what’s fair and right for both parties. I’ll also give shout outs to those who have been wonderful in their service in hopes they get some recognition and maybe some new customers. I also may call out some horror stories…..if they piss me off enough that is 😂.

To anyone who gives me a chance, thanks for reading. I’m certainly not the best writer, but I promise to share some good stories and give you something to think about.